10 August 2011

Freelancing is the bomb

You know, I never wanted to get into copywriting or editing when I was younger, but over the last couple of years I've realised that a large portion of my work is exactly that. Obviously I've never had a problem with it on a purely capabilities basis, but it just never seemed like a job I would find particularly inspiring.

And it's not. Although it can be kind of fun sometime, which is why now that I’m freelancing I take on some editing jobs, which is working out pretty good on the whole.


And then there are the times when I get a job where I have to edit 100 descriptors for a client, and they all look kind of like this:


Barbie Musical Jewelry Box

Barbie Turns Around As The Music Plays. A Barbie Statue fits on the top of the Jewelry Box; wind up Barbie & open the drawer & Music plays! Barbie that fits on top of Jewelry Box. There appears to be 1 drawer that swing outwards & the Jewelry Box plays music & Barbie turns while the music plays.


Truly, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Well I started out laughing, but now I’m on descriptor number 33, and all I can think is;

“Seriously! Are you brain damaged? How hard is it to spell jewellery? NOT THAT HARD! And even if it is... haven’t you ever heard of spell check?

Also, who in their right mind thinks that saying the same thing incoherently three times makes for a good product description? Furthermore, I think we got the fact that it’s a musical jewellery box with a Barbie on top just from the name alone.

Lastly, drawers do NOT swing outwards, they pull, that’s why they’re DRAWERS. You draw them out. It’s a pretty simple concept you know.

GIVE ME SOMETHING USEFUL HERE! Like what tune does the box play? Is the box pink? (I’m guessing yes, coz this IS Barbie after all), how many compartments does it have? What size is it?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Sigh.... I am NOT getting paid enough for this.”


And that my friends, is precisely why I would Never Ever be a good full time editor. Thank god for freelancing. At least now I not only get to jump from project to project when one of them starts to make me feel like sticking my head in the freezer and then repeatedly banging the door, but on the whole, I earn enough to keep me in the style to which I have become accustomed.


It’s a good life :) and no, I haven’t yet cleaned up my room...

4 June 2011

Whoosh...

I think that was the sound of my life zipping past.
I’m pretty sure I used to have one at one time... but even that is becoming a dim memory. Which brings to mind the question, why have I not been writing in here more? After all, I’m not doing anything better with my time!

Seriously.
You know what I did yesterday?
I slept.
That’s about it really.

Mind you, I actually do have better things to do with my time. But it was a grey and rainy Friday, and I just didn’t feel like it. So I didn’t.
Occasionally being a total layabout is good for you. But I’m starting to see a disturbing pattern here and I don’t think I like it.

SO! Next week I’m done with all that. I have to finish getting my room into order. We had painters redoing the entire house a couple of weeks ago and my room is still in a mess.
I was planning to use this as an opportunity to get all my junk sorted out: throw out or donated the stuff that I no longer want, box up and store the stuff with sentimental value (that I actually never ever even bother with anymore,) and reorder the stuff that I want to keep.
When you take into consideration that the last time I did this was at least 8 years (yeah EIGHT YEARS!) ago, you can imagine the herculean task set before me. I think that’s one of the reasons I don’t feel like getting to it. I did start, but it’s not one of those things you can do in one shot, and now every time I plan to get back to it I feel like there’s “Just So Much To Do!” and put it off...

Ah, my old enemy, procrastination. I guess I never really did learn anything from Morgan and Me.
[Oh, on a total aside, aren’t Stephen Cosgrove's Serendipity books fabulous? I hope someone out there other than me has read them! At one point of time I actually wanted to get a Flutterby tattoo. I’m so happy that they’re going into reprint and are available on Amazon. Although I still have mine from when I was a kid, it gives me hope that a new generation out there will have the chance to read them too!]

Anyway, to get back to the messy room debacle (and solution hopefully), I’ve finally framed my POTC and Underworld Evolution movie posters, so if I want to put them up I have to get my room into order. Should be incentive enough don’t you think?

2 September 2010

Score!!

lol! how could you possibly fail to get a positive response with these moves?



oh, and "here's to your lovely eyes" :P

18 August 2010

oh no!

I actually dont know if this is HORRIBLE or totally brilliant!

I'm so confused now...





I'm also wondering how I didn't know about it before. Its AGES old in electro terms.

15 August 2010

lets see how u like that...

now, i may be more of a cat person, but i really do LIKE dogs. they're great, even if they do smell. the whole unconditional affection thing is awesome. and they're almost always amusing to have around. Our dog at least; my cutie cutie taffy, who died about two years ago now; was a totally brilliant dog and a complete joy to have around.
BUT
if the idiot who lives two houses down from us doesn't figure out how to keep his bloody dogs from howling and fighting all night long i CAN NOT answer for my actions! what the HELL! how does he sleep through that racket!!

its driving me nuts. really. don't be surprised if you find out one of these days that i no longer post coz I've been taken away to the nut house.
At least I'll be able to sleep if I'm in a nice quite white room. and the padding may actually be comfortable... hmm... the lack of sleep thing is actually making me start to wonder if getting locked up would be that bad. but then, I'm sure the other inmates would be pretty noisy.
ok, i think outside life is on-the-whole preferable! at least out here i can get my hands on brownies.

LOL... i just read over everything i typed up there. and i have to say, if I ran a nut house, I think i'd be seriously considering me as a candidate.

so let me explain a little.
We have a neighbour with three dogs. Two are street dogs that they rescued, and one is a lab. Now I'm not really sure what the whole arrangement is with these, but i think the street ones aren't allowed into the house to sleep. One has some weird problems and dysfunctionality issues from before it got rescued, and now 'Blacky' barks and howls about EVERYTHING (including getting fed apparently - really! that's what the owner told my sis!).

The second street dog is an escape artiste. 'Stripey' manages to scale their compound wall, and then runs about getting into fights with the other street dogs in our colony. and into the colony garbage bin. and into other people’s houses every night.
and somehow, SOMEHOW, she always manages to have all the scuffles she has on a nightly basis, right. outside. my. window! or at least, that's how it sounds.
in fact I can hear her right now. snorfaling away, running and panting and growling and jumping and generally making a bloody nuisance of herself.

And lastly, the lab, who i think wants to be in on all the nonsense that the other two get into, is locked in the house with the peoples every night. and with the peoples is not where 'Banjo' wants to be! oh no... the peoples are all sleeping! that's not exciting at all! so what does he do? well. for the last week or so (maybe the owners are out of town?) Banjo (or at least I assume its him. it sounds like him) has been complaining every night.
right at about 2 am, as i'm about to fall into the kind of sleep where a Harley revving by my head would not wake me, that dratted lab starts up. "ooouuooh uuoohaaa hooohooohooaaa!"
seriously.
its not even like a wolfie, respectable, dignified type howl! he sounds like a 5 year old telling mommy about how the other kids wont let him play.
the first couple of times he started in on the howling it was funny (which may have been because he did it during the day), but i just can't take it anymore!

I have to be up tomorrow at 6am (and that's a story for later) but here i am, unable to sleep, coz my idiot freaking neighbour is apparently as deaf as an ninety year old man who was in an artillery unit during the second world war - or is such a sucky person, that he goes on holiday and doesn't leave someone behind to take care of his dogs during the night.

so bah, humbug to him!
and if he doesn't figure out how to shut his dogs up, I'm gonna go over there one of these nights with an air horn, break into his house, shove it up against his ear and press the button.