i just googled boredom... he he... u get the funniest things!
off to bed now. last exam tmrw.
so sleepy! despite having had a nice long nap this afternoon. still have all my packin and stuff to do!
viraj is comin to blr tmrw. guess this weekend is going to be really busy.
oh well... once these exams are done it's all good.
gnite
24 June 2005
22 June 2005
exam fever... :(
sigh.
monday did not go well. it was the first paper. Media Project and Editing. 3hrs. Not enough time... altho i did manage to finish, which is more then i managed last sem. I HATE EXAMS! i NEVER do well... there have of course been exceptions. but that is pretty much the rule. i just don't write fast enough. and i forget words and all that shit. the editing part wasn't too bad... but the media project thing! damn, it almost makes me swear! in fact i did. firstly we had absolutely NO idea what we were supposed to study! it had no focus! they could ask us a question about any tiny trivial detail that we have learnt in the last two years! and they did. i don't know wtf i wrote. probably some absolute crap. It was SO not fun. when i got my first look at that paper i nearly had a coronary... heheh... ok, that is definitely a slight exaggeration. but i did think WHAT in HELL! some of those questions were sooo bizarre! oh well. that's done.
but i do not imagine that tmrws paper is going to be any picnic either. in fact i pretty much expect it to be WORSE! :( i am not a happy camper...
tmrws paper in on CLW (that's Camera and Lighting Workshop) and Film Studies. both are horrid. not as subjects.... where they are actually really cool and fun to study. but that’s the practical side. for our exam we have to study reams and reams of info! it's so daft! why put two subjects that involve soo much work in the same paper!? and then they expect us to be able to answer it in that measly 3 hours! trying to write that fast always makes my hand cramp. I'm going to b in major pain by the end of it all...
I'm looking over my film noir notes now. and that's more then 30 pgs and there's no assurance that we'll even get questions about that topic. what's more, that still leaves all the other waves, noirs and genres that i haven't covered in great detail. and u know, we don't even do this stuff in class. we just sort of do an informal discussion after watching a whole bunch of films... i did ok last year on our film studies section. but our last year proff for the subject (who corrected the exam - which is how it works) thought i was good already. he liked me. he knew that i worked hard. I'm not saying that he was partial or anything - coz obviously he wasn't. i did only get an M... but anyway. this years proff? yeah, he HATES me!! seriously. he is not a nice guy... he actually wrote this:
Remarks on Class Participation:
You don't allow for dialogue when interacting. Far too opinionated, and this gets in the way of you listening, and prevents you from being insightful, and more open to ideas. You are prejudiced to the point of being obnoxious.
seriously. that is WORD for WORD what he wrote. and on my ASSIGNMENT! how unprofessional is that!? and when he was called on it - by our class teacher, he justified his behaviour by claiming he was doing me a favour. and that no other teacher in any college would have accepted my behaviour.
let me just say, i have NEVER, not once in all my years of education ( and I'm 21 now and started school at the age of 4!) had this sort of a problem with any of my teachers! in fact they usually really like me! I've even been accused of being a teachers pet!!!! ok, i know I'm arrogant and definitely i have very strong opinions which I am, possibly, a lil too over willing to share... but please! his comment was still just a lil strong. difinitely hurt my feelings at the time...
want to know what i think brought it on tho? well... i didn't agree with him that sitting and watching movies all day, every single day, was the purest form of life. seriously. he thinks that.
We were having a discussion, in class, about a documentary film we had just seen (that followed the life of this bunch of extreme film buffs - who actually do spend there whole lives watching movies) i just said that if u don't experience life except through another person's perception of it - which is basically what all cinema is - then u aren't really living. we were having a discussion for gods sake!!!! but he wouldn't even listen to my reasoning... he just got all mad, and shouted me down like a 3 year old... that's when i found out his opinion... it's not like i was trying to be tactless and offend him! i never even knew his whole 'purest from of life' thing at the time...
sigh.
and now this dumb bastard has my grades in his hand.... not a happy thought. in fact, it's the main source of my worry.
the lighting and camera thing is worrying bcoz there is sooo much to cover. and again, there is no way to know what to focus on. so we just sort of have to study as much as we can. and hope that what gets into our heads will actually get asked in the paper. but at least no real faculty worries here. the proff who's going to correct this is a decent guy. knows his stuff... so fudging is going to be impossible... heh heh. oh well. we can only hope.
think i'm done. all talked out. so time to get back to the grindstone.
bbye... and good luck to me!
monday did not go well. it was the first paper. Media Project and Editing. 3hrs. Not enough time... altho i did manage to finish, which is more then i managed last sem. I HATE EXAMS! i NEVER do well... there have of course been exceptions. but that is pretty much the rule. i just don't write fast enough. and i forget words and all that shit. the editing part wasn't too bad... but the media project thing! damn, it almost makes me swear! in fact i did. firstly we had absolutely NO idea what we were supposed to study! it had no focus! they could ask us a question about any tiny trivial detail that we have learnt in the last two years! and they did. i don't know wtf i wrote. probably some absolute crap. It was SO not fun. when i got my first look at that paper i nearly had a coronary... heheh... ok, that is definitely a slight exaggeration. but i did think WHAT in HELL! some of those questions were sooo bizarre! oh well. that's done.
but i do not imagine that tmrws paper is going to be any picnic either. in fact i pretty much expect it to be WORSE! :( i am not a happy camper...
tmrws paper in on CLW (that's Camera and Lighting Workshop) and Film Studies. both are horrid. not as subjects.... where they are actually really cool and fun to study. but that’s the practical side. for our exam we have to study reams and reams of info! it's so daft! why put two subjects that involve soo much work in the same paper!? and then they expect us to be able to answer it in that measly 3 hours! trying to write that fast always makes my hand cramp. I'm going to b in major pain by the end of it all...
I'm looking over my film noir notes now. and that's more then 30 pgs and there's no assurance that we'll even get questions about that topic. what's more, that still leaves all the other waves, noirs and genres that i haven't covered in great detail. and u know, we don't even do this stuff in class. we just sort of do an informal discussion after watching a whole bunch of films... i did ok last year on our film studies section. but our last year proff for the subject (who corrected the exam - which is how it works) thought i was good already. he liked me. he knew that i worked hard. I'm not saying that he was partial or anything - coz obviously he wasn't. i did only get an M... but anyway. this years proff? yeah, he HATES me!! seriously. he is not a nice guy... he actually wrote this:
Remarks on Class Participation:
You don't allow for dialogue when interacting. Far too opinionated, and this gets in the way of you listening, and prevents you from being insightful, and more open to ideas. You are prejudiced to the point of being obnoxious.
seriously. that is WORD for WORD what he wrote. and on my ASSIGNMENT! how unprofessional is that!? and when he was called on it - by our class teacher, he justified his behaviour by claiming he was doing me a favour. and that no other teacher in any college would have accepted my behaviour.
let me just say, i have NEVER, not once in all my years of education ( and I'm 21 now and started school at the age of 4!) had this sort of a problem with any of my teachers! in fact they usually really like me! I've even been accused of being a teachers pet!!!! ok, i know I'm arrogant and definitely i have very strong opinions which I am, possibly, a lil too over willing to share... but please! his comment was still just a lil strong. difinitely hurt my feelings at the time...
want to know what i think brought it on tho? well... i didn't agree with him that sitting and watching movies all day, every single day, was the purest form of life. seriously. he thinks that.
We were having a discussion, in class, about a documentary film we had just seen (that followed the life of this bunch of extreme film buffs - who actually do spend there whole lives watching movies) i just said that if u don't experience life except through another person's perception of it - which is basically what all cinema is - then u aren't really living. we were having a discussion for gods sake!!!! but he wouldn't even listen to my reasoning... he just got all mad, and shouted me down like a 3 year old... that's when i found out his opinion... it's not like i was trying to be tactless and offend him! i never even knew his whole 'purest from of life' thing at the time...
sigh.
and now this dumb bastard has my grades in his hand.... not a happy thought. in fact, it's the main source of my worry.
the lighting and camera thing is worrying bcoz there is sooo much to cover. and again, there is no way to know what to focus on. so we just sort of have to study as much as we can. and hope that what gets into our heads will actually get asked in the paper. but at least no real faculty worries here. the proff who's going to correct this is a decent guy. knows his stuff... so fudging is going to be impossible... heh heh. oh well. we can only hope.
think i'm done. all talked out. so time to get back to the grindstone.
bbye... and good luck to me!
lesse...
it's been quite a few days and i think I'll fill in two posts today. one normal update... and the second one coz i got to talk out my nervousness b4 i put a hoodo on my exam tmrw.
so, on the normal front:
exams started on monday, second one tmrw... last one on friday. did i say this b4? well, only 3, so that's not too bad... but i really dont feel even half way prepared!!! okie. more on that in the other post.. which, come to think of it, is going to get read first! since it's getting posted later and all.. oh well... he he - sorry you weren't warned.
anyway. leaving for hyderabad on tuesday. that's the 28. :D at 5 in the evening... taking a night train. so reach there at 6 the next morning. i hate taking night trains alone :( oh well...
so, reach hyderabad on the 29th... as i said... and going from there to COLOMBO!! he he he... cool right. for a holiday b4 i start my internship. going with the people I'm stayin with in hyd - very close family friends (obviously) and also my boss - Vijay Uncle's family... it's all good! just cant wait till these exams are over! only gives me three days proper to sort out all the packing and to clean my room b4 i leave and all that stuff... but i really don't think that should b an issue. packing NEVER takes me that long... and i actually quite like to clean my room (yeah, yeah, that's a bit weird - but i have never understood how people can live in a big mess! or mayb it's just boarding school training)... altho that would mean that everyone who goes to boarding school would come out being a bit AR about having a clean room... so tell me guys, r u clean freaks :D heh heh heh... i don't think so....
okay... that about cover all i have to say... been studyin. it has not been fun. i now have to get back to it. after a rant out all the stuff that I'm scared about... heh heh... not really a joking matter really. oh well... sigh. I'm gone
bbye
so, on the normal front:
exams started on monday, second one tmrw... last one on friday. did i say this b4? well, only 3, so that's not too bad... but i really dont feel even half way prepared!!! okie. more on that in the other post.. which, come to think of it, is going to get read first! since it's getting posted later and all.. oh well... he he - sorry you weren't warned.
anyway. leaving for hyderabad on tuesday. that's the 28. :D at 5 in the evening... taking a night train. so reach there at 6 the next morning. i hate taking night trains alone :( oh well...
so, reach hyderabad on the 29th... as i said... and going from there to COLOMBO!! he he he... cool right. for a holiday b4 i start my internship. going with the people I'm stayin with in hyd - very close family friends (obviously) and also my boss - Vijay Uncle's family... it's all good! just cant wait till these exams are over! only gives me three days proper to sort out all the packing and to clean my room b4 i leave and all that stuff... but i really don't think that should b an issue. packing NEVER takes me that long... and i actually quite like to clean my room (yeah, yeah, that's a bit weird - but i have never understood how people can live in a big mess! or mayb it's just boarding school training)... altho that would mean that everyone who goes to boarding school would come out being a bit AR about having a clean room... so tell me guys, r u clean freaks :D heh heh heh... i don't think so....
okay... that about cover all i have to say... been studyin. it has not been fun. i now have to get back to it. after a rant out all the stuff that I'm scared about... heh heh... not really a joking matter really. oh well... sigh. I'm gone
bbye
18 June 2005
Cant concentrate!
Actually, I hardly went back to my work at all…
There’s this whole bunch of songs running round and round my head… and I guess I’ve just had it up to here *holds hand over head* with trying to study…
My newest favourite song is ‘You’re Beautiful’ by James Blunt. Brilliant song. This guy is pretty cool actually… I also have 3 Doors Down’s ‘Here Without You’ and ‘Breathe’ by Erasure coming in to relieve the monotony one in a while. Although since it’s been these same 3 songs for the last 12 hours or so, it’s not THAT much of a relief.
But the worst song to have stuck in you’re head in my opinion is the new BEP track ‘Don’t Phunk With My Heart’ it’s REALLY annoying! My mom thinks it sounds like a Hindi film song… and I must admit that I agree. It does seem to be influenced by the afore mentioned genre. But it was lodged so firmly in my cranium a while ago that I finally broke down and downloaded it today. So now I can at least listen to it and get it out of my head whenever I want… always a good thing.
through extencive researsh I’ve found that the best method to get a song out of you’re head is to listen to it… preferably in such a way that it gets stuck in someone else's (heh heh). Really! This works! I have NEVER had the same song stuck in my head that K has (well nearly never). And invariably if I listen to it or sing it enough it gets stuck in hers… and then ‘snap’ it’s out of my head!!! Of course this usually results in her being pretty mad at me… heheheh… but that’s ok. Bcoz she does the same thing to me just as often…
DAMN! I just smacked a mosquito 3 times ( yes thrice!) and the bloody thing (no pun intended – I do NOT joke about mosquitoes!) didn’t die! Instead it flew of… snickering loudly to itself no doubt… I hate those nasty blood sucking hell spawned creatures! Did u know that they can survive almost anywhere?! Even extremes in temperature don’t really bother them…except of course that temperature effect there breeding habitat. They cant survive if there isn’t any stagnant water. So if it’s too hot – all water evaporates before they can breed, or too cold – all water freezes over before they can complete their breeding cycle… then no mosquitoes…
the thing is… I don’t even see what possible useful function they have! Why do mosquitoes exist? They’re just awful lil things that fly around spreading diseases and irritating all other living creatures… it would be no loss if they all suddenly vanished.
Ooh… on a totally different topic. Star World has started showing Buffy re-runs!! Yay! : ) everyday at 5. it’s already up to season two… such fun!! But I think season 3 will start while I’m in Hyderabad. Which wont be good, coz that’s the season I missed most of and I wont be able to watch while I’m there… sigh.
Well I guess I could always borrow the DVDs from A… but the bad thing about that is that there wont be anything to stop me from watching the whole season at one shot! Seriously. I’m capable of doing that… heheh… madness.
Ok. It is now 5. and I think I should get of the comp. Mayb go lie down for a while… not sleep, coz I probably wont wake up till 12 then. And I have to be in coll at 10:30!
Yuck… college on a Saturday. Good form of torture in my opinion… actually I’m only going to pick up my invitation to the seniors graduation. Which is tonight. And also to just do a double check with paro on the stuff we are supposed to know for Monday. Oh, yeah, I have to go for the graduation ceremony bcoz apparently I’m getting the award for Overall Performance this year. I think that’s so bogus. Our college is so small. And I don’t think u can make a judgment about who's the best student through the classes coz our courses are so different. Yeah, so mayb I got the most Ms and Ds and I didn’t get any Ps. But that has a lot to do with our course. And also I think that quite often I get really good grades coz in comparison to my class I’m brilliant. But how much does that actually mean!? After all my ‘competition’ is Parvati and Samir… she u all know (from my earlier rants.. hehe) and he… well, he just doesn’t show most of the time.
College is more of a ‘timepass’ for him. he’s this Nepali guy, from an important and well-to-do family. And he admits to being a career student… not in those words of course, he doesn’t know that much English.
Actually, what ticks me of about him is that he’s talented! If he worked he would b really good. Definitely better then I could ever be in my opinion. I have to think about a shot before I take it. He has the instinct, the ‘eye’ for the perfect shot. I would kill for that. And he has it. And wastes it. Unforgivable in my opinion.
My mom used to say that about me playing the piano. But you know, I may have talent, but it’s not spectacular. I can name at least 5 kids I know who are MUCH more talented then I ever was. And they love it. So let them play… I never had the ‘heart’ for it. U have to love art to be really good at it. But samir… he does have the heart…. He just doesn’t want to work at it. And u need to have that too to be great. In my opinion ‘genius’ is a combination of talent, love, hard work and guts. No guts no glory u know…
Wow… this is a really long post! I thought it would be this tiny short entry. Just enough to let me finish a few songs that I wanted to listen to and then off to bed for me. but the rant kinda took over I guess : ) he he… oh well. I actually suspect that hardly anyone is reading this… only A and Ra and mayb K once in the while… so no ones going to get bored stiff.
I love to write these though… writing is sooo much fun. And it’s always good to keep in practice... tee hee.
Ok Blvd. Of Broken Dreams is playing… once that’s done this comp goes of. for sure… so bu-bye
There’s this whole bunch of songs running round and round my head… and I guess I’ve just had it up to here *holds hand over head* with trying to study…
My newest favourite song is ‘You’re Beautiful’ by James Blunt. Brilliant song. This guy is pretty cool actually… I also have 3 Doors Down’s ‘Here Without You’ and ‘Breathe’ by Erasure coming in to relieve the monotony one in a while. Although since it’s been these same 3 songs for the last 12 hours or so, it’s not THAT much of a relief.
But the worst song to have stuck in you’re head in my opinion is the new BEP track ‘Don’t Phunk With My Heart’ it’s REALLY annoying! My mom thinks it sounds like a Hindi film song… and I must admit that I agree. It does seem to be influenced by the afore mentioned genre. But it was lodged so firmly in my cranium a while ago that I finally broke down and downloaded it today. So now I can at least listen to it and get it out of my head whenever I want… always a good thing.
through extencive researsh I’ve found that the best method to get a song out of you’re head is to listen to it… preferably in such a way that it gets stuck in someone else's (heh heh). Really! This works! I have NEVER had the same song stuck in my head that K has (well nearly never). And invariably if I listen to it or sing it enough it gets stuck in hers… and then ‘snap’ it’s out of my head!!! Of course this usually results in her being pretty mad at me… heheheh… but that’s ok. Bcoz she does the same thing to me just as often…
DAMN! I just smacked a mosquito 3 times ( yes thrice!) and the bloody thing (no pun intended – I do NOT joke about mosquitoes!) didn’t die! Instead it flew of… snickering loudly to itself no doubt… I hate those nasty blood sucking hell spawned creatures! Did u know that they can survive almost anywhere?! Even extremes in temperature don’t really bother them…except of course that temperature effect there breeding habitat. They cant survive if there isn’t any stagnant water. So if it’s too hot – all water evaporates before they can breed, or too cold – all water freezes over before they can complete their breeding cycle… then no mosquitoes…
the thing is… I don’t even see what possible useful function they have! Why do mosquitoes exist? They’re just awful lil things that fly around spreading diseases and irritating all other living creatures… it would be no loss if they all suddenly vanished.
Ooh… on a totally different topic. Star World has started showing Buffy re-runs!! Yay! : ) everyday at 5. it’s already up to season two… such fun!! But I think season 3 will start while I’m in Hyderabad. Which wont be good, coz that’s the season I missed most of and I wont be able to watch while I’m there… sigh.
Well I guess I could always borrow the DVDs from A… but the bad thing about that is that there wont be anything to stop me from watching the whole season at one shot! Seriously. I’m capable of doing that… heheh… madness.
Ok. It is now 5. and I think I should get of the comp. Mayb go lie down for a while… not sleep, coz I probably wont wake up till 12 then. And I have to be in coll at 10:30!
Yuck… college on a Saturday. Good form of torture in my opinion… actually I’m only going to pick up my invitation to the seniors graduation. Which is tonight. And also to just do a double check with paro on the stuff we are supposed to know for Monday. Oh, yeah, I have to go for the graduation ceremony bcoz apparently I’m getting the award for Overall Performance this year. I think that’s so bogus. Our college is so small. And I don’t think u can make a judgment about who's the best student through the classes coz our courses are so different. Yeah, so mayb I got the most Ms and Ds and I didn’t get any Ps. But that has a lot to do with our course. And also I think that quite often I get really good grades coz in comparison to my class I’m brilliant. But how much does that actually mean!? After all my ‘competition’ is Parvati and Samir… she u all know (from my earlier rants.. hehe) and he… well, he just doesn’t show most of the time.
College is more of a ‘timepass’ for him. he’s this Nepali guy, from an important and well-to-do family. And he admits to being a career student… not in those words of course, he doesn’t know that much English.
Actually, what ticks me of about him is that he’s talented! If he worked he would b really good. Definitely better then I could ever be in my opinion. I have to think about a shot before I take it. He has the instinct, the ‘eye’ for the perfect shot. I would kill for that. And he has it. And wastes it. Unforgivable in my opinion.
My mom used to say that about me playing the piano. But you know, I may have talent, but it’s not spectacular. I can name at least 5 kids I know who are MUCH more talented then I ever was. And they love it. So let them play… I never had the ‘heart’ for it. U have to love art to be really good at it. But samir… he does have the heart…. He just doesn’t want to work at it. And u need to have that too to be great. In my opinion ‘genius’ is a combination of talent, love, hard work and guts. No guts no glory u know…
Wow… this is a really long post! I thought it would be this tiny short entry. Just enough to let me finish a few songs that I wanted to listen to and then off to bed for me. but the rant kinda took over I guess : ) he he… oh well. I actually suspect that hardly anyone is reading this… only A and Ra and mayb K once in the while… so no ones going to get bored stiff.
I love to write these though… writing is sooo much fun. And it’s always good to keep in practice... tee hee.
Ok Blvd. Of Broken Dreams is playing… once that’s done this comp goes of. for sure… so bu-bye
another pointless entry
sorry.
this is not going to be a nice upbeat, interesting post... I'm feeling pretty low. got an awful backache. It's 3:48 a.m. and I'm Tired! but I cant go to bed coz my exams start on Monday and I have to be studying for them... darn it. and I'm sooo BORED!!! do u know how bugging it can get to read up and do research and look through notes on editing and camera and lighting techniques? well, it is NOT fun!!! in fact it is tedious in the extreme! monotonous and dreary and deadly dull :( ... and I'm sick of it. this is not what I'm interested in. I know I have to know this stuff, bcoz if u don't then u cant express urself properly when u write a script... to give all the people who have to be doing the camera and lighting and editing an accurate idea of what exactly u want them to do. and also when I start out I really doubt I'm going to have anyone helping me out with all this stuff. so I HAVE to know about it. and I DO! I just don't know the text book definitions and stuff... which I need to for the exams. which sucks. I HATE exams! I never do well...
okie. lets not jinx it b4 I even start. but seriously... what do exams prove? NOTHING!! all they really show u is who can mug stuff up best.
actually ours aren't that bad. they do usually involve a lot of common sense... but this first paper is one of the technical ones... and let me tell u... those are nothing but a PAIN IN THE ASS!!!!!! aaaauuuurrrrgh!
crap.... I think my crazy bits are starting to show... the sane, level-headed exterior is cracking under the strain of my intense boredom. hehehehe... *big sigh*
ok :) feel better now... a good rant and a deep breath are sometimes all that's needed to put things back into perspective. and now I realise that it's no big deal. I'm not really all that tired anyway... and yeah, my back does hurt still... but then this is exactly the amount of pain I would be in if I had been playing silly computer games for the last 4 hours... and yeah, that would have been a much more fun way to end up in this state. but not everything is about fun . right? so it's all good... and anyway. If I study so much now, it just means that I don't have to do so much work over the weekend! which is brilliant! :D
more time to play! yay! (hehehe the power of positive thinking...)
ok. back to the grindstone now that I wrote that out of my system...
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