I'm BACK!

but then... maybe you didn't even know i was gone...

anyway...

back at work after ten (11? 12?) days roaming Uttarakhand, Agra and Fatehpur Sikri! pictures soon :) promise...


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UPDATE: many moons later

so no pictures... mostly coz they're up on facebook and i cant be bothered to get them sorted and put them up here... so sue me :P
and if u read this blog and aren't friends with me on fb then its a miracle in any case! (and i ought to call the Vatican)

Look Into Pants

there are sooooo many reasons why i love this blog.
Parez should take some tips.
If you want to be snarky, this is the way to go.

gofugyourself.celebuzz.com

R.I.P MJ

The first Michael Jackson song I ever truly loved was Man In The Mirror, with Smooth Criminal as a close second.

Seem like a strange combination? Not really.

I know exactly why it’s those two, and the reason has everything to do with one of my favorite people when I was 6 years old.

At the age of 6, the bus ride back from school was always horribly long – I think it took about an hour from school to our bus-stop. I was invariably exhausted, cranky and hungry by that point.

At 6 even 10 minutes in a bus when you get sort of motion sick is pretty horrible. And with school buses, somehow the trip back home always seems longer then the trip to school.

Anyway, what does this have to do with The King of Pop?

Well, as I said, it’s all because of AJ. AJ was the one who made bus rides bearable. Although when I do the math now I realize he was only about 16 or 17, at 6 he seemed all grown up.

And I had a major case of hero worship.

He was the coolest guy I knew. He would read to my class at nap time (“Marvin K Mooney, Will You PLEASE Go Now?”), he was never too busy to answer silly questions and he always took care of me on the bus.

So although I’m pretty sure the first MJ song I ever heard was way before school (since my dad still has his MJ LPs and some of them are older then me) - the first of his songs I ever loved, was the ones AJ used to sing on the bus.

He taught me all the words to Man In The Mirror, and he used to goof around acting it and Smooth Criminal out - doing funny voices, dramatic faces, and extremely amusing break dance attempts.

And despite the fact that my childhood is dotted with numerous Jackson related memories – my dad trying to sing Bad and failing miserably (and amusingly), watching thriller for the first time (how awesome was that video?), trying to moonwalk “just like MJ”… Those two songs are still my favorites.

Even if the last decade of MJs life has seemed to consist of one sad scandal after another, there’s no way any one can deny, there will probably never be another artiste and performer quite like Michael Jackson.

More Heir Then Wit

So… I was surfing through the web yesterday in a fairly jobless fashion (despite the fact that it was a Tuesday and I was actually kinda swamped), and I came across this:

The Hermes Bicycle

Bicycle in lacquered stainless steel.

Frame, handles and saddle in Taurillon Clemence leather.

Kickstand, front and back lighting, carrier with bungy cord, mud flap and spoke protector.

$4,000.00

Can someone please explain to me why anyone would buy this???

Firstly, if you convert it, that’s about 1,88,000 INR (and to save myself the trouble, lets assume that all future prices that I dont mention in USD or GPB are INR)… let me just say OUCH!

Even thinking about it makes my wallet hurt.

Who spends almost 2 lakhs on a bicycle!!! And what’s worse… it’s covered in leather! How totally impractical is that? What if it starts to rain?

This is NOT what I would call a sensible use of money.

I guess you really know you have way more money then you know what to do with (or a complete disregard for Daddy's Dollars) when you start buying things like that.

(Oh! Check out the Hermes baby stuff while your there… now I know that most new parents can be made to buy practically anything for darling baby, but seriously! Who buys a US$930 plush horse? That’s almost 44 thousand rupees!)

So then I started to wonder, what are the really daft things out there that no one but a really filthy rich, and possibly slightly brain damaged person, would be suckered into buying?

And here are a couple of things I found.

You may have heard of a few of them before, but they were just too noteworthy not to mention.

Bling H20

(Water for the super rich and vapid)

"Comes in Limited Edition, corked, 750ml, reusable frosted glass bottles, exquisitely handcrafted with Swarovski Crystals."
Cost? US$40 a bottle. For WATER!

Weirdly enough reading the site taught me something new... who knew there were awards for water?

Oh, also, its not water for everyone... apparently "just those that Bling."



Miniature Home Chocolate Fountain
(Figured I ought to put in at least one thing which I would totally buy if I had the cash)

The Miniature Chocolate & Fondue Fountain is the ultimate accessory for every fondue lover and home entertainer.
The elegance and fun of the larger chocolate fountains can now be yours with a personal chocolate fountain of your own!

Depending on size and capacity, these cost between US$86 - 196.

Because what could possibly be more elegant then a chocolate fountain?


Charlotte Thomas Bespoke
(Sheets I would be to terrified to fall asleep on)

The most expensive bed sheets in the world - handmade, using the finest merino wool backed with hand-loom silk and thousand-count Egyptian cotton sheets, and threaded with 22 carat gold.

I imagine sleeping on them would feel awesome, they're reputed to be the finest bedding in the world.

How much do they cost?
Well, I'm guessing the Britt sense of propriety stepped in here, because the site doesn't say.
And its also probably a sliding scale, since the sheets are made to each buyers specifications.
But each individual pillowcase is about GBP1,200, so one can only imagine.
(For the curious, that's 92,400 bucks per pillowcase).


and lastly... just coz I find it hilarious that they're just pretty flip-flops (which you could probably find for about a 100 bucks here - and probably less in fact).


Limited Edition Havaianas
(They actually cost more then the chocolate fountain!)

The Limited Edition Slim Crystel Mesh Havaianas - your avarage "bathroom chappals" with a bit of bling.

And yeah, they're probably Swarovski Crystals, but it doesn't actually say that on the product page, so who says they aren't just glass?

I sure as heck wouldn't spend over 9K (US$198) on these, but that's what they cost!

But then, even the regular run of the mill Havaianas cost about 846 bucks at the very least!

And now I'm feeling exceedingly poor and totally weirded out by the things people will spend money on.

So I guess I'll go eat lunch, and leave you with this.

Reason Why YouTube is Awesome

1) Because I would never have even heard of these guys without it.

(sadly I couldn't put up the official video for this, since they took of the embed option... but you should go check it out... freaky awesome)

somebody please explain to me how its possible to do this stuff!

2) Because watching this is totally embarrassing and hilarious… what were we thinking!!

Augh... the boyband age! I can't believe some of these guys are trying to make a comeback [and let me just say... New Kids On The Block is really really the wrong name when you're all OLD]

Other epic-ly bad cartoons from when I was young - Gem, Ghostbusters (seriously, go watch one now, you'll see what I mean) He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, CareBears, My Little Pony... can't think of any more [Thundercats and TMNT are still totally cool].

3) And because this is the kind of thing that people post

hahaha! I love how nonchalant that kanga is... hoppity-hoppity-BAM!

ouch...wonder how long it took him to find all his teeth...

Enjoy The Ride

Does anyone else still listen to Morcheeba?
Well this song is stuck in my head... the video is a little strange, but the song is awesome.
so don't get put off!

Desi

(Warning: This is kind of a serious post… and it’s pretty long too)

Recently I’ve really begun to wonder what exactly it means to be Indian.

Am I less Indian because I wear jeans? Because I don’t speak any of our languages with fluency? Is it a matter of birth? Or love for the country? Belief system? Religion?

What exactly is it that makes someone Desi?

What started me off on this train of thought was watching Bachna Ae Haseeno last Sunday.

Now I admit, I’ve always been sort of prejudiced towards Hindi movies in general, mostly because I kind of buy into the whole idea that they’re all dumb and filled with couples running in slow motion towards each other or around trees.

And yes, I do know that although that may have been true to a certain extent when I was a kid, it’s hardly the fact any longer. There are plenty of movies like that still made, but there are also lots which actually have some worth to them or are at least fun to watch.

Although it still kind of bugs me that everyone in the whole world seems to believe that Bollywood films are the sum of Indian filmmaking, completely disregarding all the other powerful Indian films that have ever been made.

But another problem for me as far as Indian movies as a whole go, is that the only language I’m fluent and comfortable in is English. And it’s a bit hard to enjoy a movie if you can’t follow the dialogue.

Ok, maybe that’s not strictly true… I had no problem watching 2 Days in Paris without subtitles, and half that movie is in French!

But I guess with Hindi movies I follow enough of the dialogue that when I can’t follow something it really throws me. And then the flow is gone and the entire experience sort of goes down the toilet.

And it’s actually somehow a little more annoying when you know that what they’re saying is probably totally pointless!

Since I watched Bachna Ae Haseeno on DVD, we had the subtitles on, and actually, from a purely fluff point of view, it was kind of fun.

There were waaaaaaay too many songs (and buggingly enough, I’ve had this one stuck in my head since watching the movie).

But other then that, a lot of the scripting was pretty smart, and the humor was quite witty.

So that made me wonder, “Am I out of touch with the things that are Indian these days? And have I ever actually been in touch with them?”

When we were kids, my sis and I never actually watched any of the Indian TV shows, or at least, I don’t remember doing so. And the only reason I’ve watched any of the movies that are considered to be Indian Film Classics (Like Kabuliwalla or the Appu Trilogy) is because we were made to watch them in school.

We were brought up on a steady diet of western literature and cultural milestones, and I never actually regretted the lack of Indian influence till I started working.

Luckily my grandmoms and school managed to plant a certain amount of Indian culture and history into my head. Enough that I’ve read the Mahabharata and the Ramayana a few times, and have a fairly decent grasp of Who Came First from the Aryans to the Brits.

But does that make me Desi?

I can cook a Full Indian Meal, and if Bend it Like Beckham is to be believed, the rest should be up to God.

But I’m not in the least bit religious! In fact, although I have a firm and unshakable belief that God certainly does exist - how else do you explain the everyday miracle of life? (And if you say science I’m just going to say “and how do you explain that existing then?” so don’t argue ok?) I’m completely and totally anti-religion. In fact, I kind of believe that if the devil did exist, religion is probably exactly the kind of thing he would come up with – after all it’s been behind some of the worst problems our world has seen!

But that is an argument for another post.

So Desi… what exactly does it mean? If our politicians are to be believed, then accepting other cultures and adopting other traditions makes us less Indian.

But what I want to know is, if we hadn’t always been such an open country, if we hadn’t been willing to accept other people, learn from them, take their knowledge and wisdom and make it our own, would we be the country we are now?

No… I really don’t think we would be.

Firstly, what is Indian? How far back do you need to go before you get to the pure Indian roots? One of the best and strongest things about our country is that it’s a total melting pot.

From the Taj Mahal to the temples at Thanjavur, from Appams to Sarson Ka Saag, our country represents everyone! So really, I’m not sure that there is any one thing that’s Indian.

And adding to my idea that my life is pointless

No One reads this blog.
NO ONE!
as in... I have actually not even gotten one hit since forever! at least a month or so.
which really makes me wonder why I'm even bothering to write this.
I could of course claim that I do this for self expression (cough*as if*cough), but even I don't believe that!
well anyway...

If anyone does read this in the next few, let me ask you... do you read Foxtrot?
Because its hilarious and you should... one of my greatest sorrows is that Bill Amend only writes Sunday strips now.
But at least there's a whole bunch of fun stuff still going on here and we still have Pearls (YAY!)... which sadly does not have its own website, but can be read here.

But back to Foxtrot...
Did you crack the math code and work the Apr 19 strip out?
Because I did.
Which proves to me that I really shouldn't have failed math!
Or at least that I'm better at it then Paige.

“Do Not Forget Me Till Your Blood Is Red”

I swear I saw that written on the back of an auto last night on my way home from work… I have no CLUE what he was trying to say… but man… I can’t help but wonder… is he talking to his uptown girl? Is this some blue blooded reference? Or was that meant to be “Till your blood spills red upon the ground” which is a possibility… but frankly, kinda horrible.

Maybe I just shouldn't try to analyse it, auto sayings hardly EVER make sense…. For example, I’ve seen signs like “Trust A Sanke But Not A Gril” and “Lose Weight! Ask For Free Sample” and my personal favorite “Born To Bead” (I think they missed a gap and a B there)…

The problem is that it’s almost impossible to get pictures of these. Because even though traffic is always horrible, I will invariably be just a little too far away to take a cam phone pic. And if I DO get a pic (and in fact I do have one of the “Born To Bead” auto) its almost impossible to tell what it actually says!

But I shall keep trying!
Who knows… there may come a time when I’ll have just the right balance of funny, distance and lighting...

Is this cool? Or just plain crazy?

Clear proof that some people just have waaaay to much time on their hands…

or maybe they're just Baaa-rking mad (hahaha... sorry sorry sorry! I'm really sleepy and can't be held responsible for bad punning!)

Since we’re on the topic

Here’s another example of Japanese weirdness!

What? We weren’t talking about that? Are you sure??

I’m pretty sure that was the point of the Jap robo-model (fem-bot?) post... and if u don’t know what I’m talking about, scroll down!

Well anyway!

Apparently he’s the president of the company that makes those stun guns, and wanted to prove how painful they were even through that many layers of clothing.

Brilliant and inexpensive advertising strategy!

Although possibly not worth the pain or the therapy bills he’s probably been paying for quite a while....

oh! more here

Ooog! Creeeeeeepy!

That’s the new Japanese robot model… more about it here.

Does anyone else think her hands are abnormally and creepily huge!? Although… the entire thing is pretty darned creepy, so not much point in picking on one bit.

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UPDATE:
I suddenly realised what she reminds me of! Brings to mind that scary alien chick from Mars Attacks doesn't she?

Now THIS is a good idea :)

Haha… check it out… a gadget that makes it easier for you to stick your finger in a plug-point!

I’m pretty sure people would buy this just to see if it actually works… seems like a very “scientist-y” type thing to do in fact.

Oh… and btw… if u were wondering...

WikiAnswers says to the Q: How much electricity can kill you?

A: It only takes a very small amount to kill you. .1 milliamps to be exact. However this is not definite many things have to be taken into consideration as to weather or not it will kill or harm you. Personally I've been hit with 100 amps and walked away with no problems. But given the right conditions .1 milliamps is all it takes. and even things as simple as household light switches commonly carry at least 2 amps.

Screaming for Ice Cream

God it’s hot…

If this weather keeps up, I’ll be well on my way to getting fat! What people say about fast food chains is soo true! Ok… that wasn’t as random a leap as it might have sounded. Although maybe it didn’t sound as random as I thought it did.

Well whatever.

Back to the point (and my apologies for the side trip into scattyness), every afternoon for the last month or so I’ve started to crave ice cream. Must be a combination of the weather and my general weakness where all things chocolate are concerned.

And the enabler in this sudden obsession? Well… the great golden arches have moved in next door. They opened sometimes late last year, but it was pretty cold then, and since I really can’t stand anything but the fries when it comes to eating there, it wasn’t such a big deal.

Till now.

Because, I LOVE, love, love, love the McSwirl. And there’s nothing better then yummy ice cream in a lovely thick layer of solid chocolate on a hot afternoon.

Sadly I cannot find a picture... to help make you crave one too! :) So let me just assure you... its Yummy! And kind of like magic... into the sauce goes the ice cream (how does it not melt???) out it comes again... and then bam! Choco-sauce to crunchy-munchy chocolate, right before your eyes.

*sigh*

And dang… coz now I want one.

But I shall resist… which is very hard to do! And takes me back to the first few lines of this post…

Step Aside Murphy

Everyone knows how Murphy's Law works.

You'll be totally jobless at work the entire week, and you have absolutely nothing better to do, since your social life is resembling the Sahara... and that's ok, if a little boring…

But…

The one day that you want to leave early? Well, that's the day when you're totally jobless till 5pm, and then all of a sudden, like magic, you're overloaded with work. And before you know it its 8 O'clock and all your friends are going "where the heck ARE you!!? This DJ is so awesome!" or "Happy Hour ends in 5 minutes!" or whatever it was you were planning to do.

But Murphy hasn't got a thing on Karma.

One of my friends suffers from a terrible case of instant karma. She just Can Not lie and call in sick at work.

It never fails.

If she says she has the flu and can’t go in one day, she’ll be running a fever by that evening.

She tried to be smart about it yesterday and called in and told her boss that she had food poisoning, because hey, who can get food poisoning out of the blue and with no warning?

Well apparently she can.

I’ve always thought that Karma would make a pretty cool superhero.

Think about it, karma is essentially justice. Or to quote wiki “Karma is the law of moral causation” I’ve always held more of a belief in the theosophical idea of Karma, which is essentially a theory of inevitable consequence.

So a Karma superhero just makes sense.

Bad guys rob a bank, but as they speed off in their getaway car, Karma pops out of nowhere. And BAM! Next thing you know the getaway car is upside-down in a ring of extremely confused looking cops.

Sorry Boys!

Yes, yes, I do know he looks like superman. What did you expect me to do? Draw him!?

But forget about that… don’t you think it’s a good idea?

Oh, btw… if anyone from DC or Marvel happens to read this… it’s MY concept! I know you’re hurting for ideas right now (don’t try to deny it… I’ve seen the new batgirl comics!), but I still will sue.

xkcd... this is how my brain works

oh man... if i confess to having actually done pretty much exactly this, does that make me a total geek?

Star Wars Theme Songs

I just heard We Walk by The Ting Tings for the first time today… and you know what struck me first? Well… it doesn’t really sound like We Walk… it sounds like Ewok.

And actually as a theme song I think it really fits!

These are the lyrics… and for your convenience I’ve substituted Ewok for We walk…

So tell me…. Am I right? Or am I right?

You never alter, you're always you
Everything's breaking, but I don't care
Smash the rest up, burn it down
Put us in the corner 'cause we're into ideas

Take these edges, they're inside out
No one will notice, they're looking elsewhere
We can be honest, we call it off
We've got the choice if it all goes wrong

Ewok, Ewok

Ewok, Ewok

You see the changes in things that come
Its how you deal with it when switching off
Make a decision, a precondition
We've got the choice if it all goes wrong

Ewok, Ewok

Ewok, Ewok

When nothing makes you feel good

Then nothing makes you feel good
When nothing makes you feel good

Then nothing makes you feel good

We've got the choice if it all goes wrong

Ewok, Ewok
If it all goes wrong
Ewok, Ewok
If it all goes wrong

Ewok, Ewok

If it makes you feel good, if it makes you feel good
Ewok, Ewok
When it all goes wrong

Ewok, Ewok
Ewok, Ewok

Can’t you just picture these tubby guys singing away?

Is it a Bird? Is it a Plane? No! It's the Procrastinator!

Well…. It’s Tuesday. The first one of the year! And I’ve done absolutely nothing work-wise today. Nada, zip, zilch… not a damn thing on my list. And that is suuuuuuuch a bad idea considering Tuesday’s are always the most f*all-est day of my week.

And now I’m going for lunch :P

Back in a bit... will post more then... maybe... or maybe I should just get down to work.

Well if I decide to do the responsible thing then Adios folks, and I promise to post something more worth reading soon!

oh!

and Happy New Year everyone!!