R.I.P MJ

The first Michael Jackson song I ever truly loved was Man In The Mirror, with Smooth Criminal as a close second.

Seem like a strange combination? Not really.

I know exactly why it’s those two, and the reason has everything to do with one of my favorite people when I was 6 years old.

At the age of 6, the bus ride back from school was always horribly long – I think it took about an hour from school to our bus-stop. I was invariably exhausted, cranky and hungry by that point.

At 6 even 10 minutes in a bus when you get sort of motion sick is pretty horrible. And with school buses, somehow the trip back home always seems longer then the trip to school.

Anyway, what does this have to do with The King of Pop?

Well, as I said, it’s all because of AJ. AJ was the one who made bus rides bearable. Although when I do the math now I realize he was only about 16 or 17, at 6 he seemed all grown up.

And I had a major case of hero worship.

He was the coolest guy I knew. He would read to my class at nap time (“Marvin K Mooney, Will You PLEASE Go Now?”), he was never too busy to answer silly questions and he always took care of me on the bus.

So although I’m pretty sure the first MJ song I ever heard was way before school (since my dad still has his MJ LPs and some of them are older then me) - the first of his songs I ever loved, was the ones AJ used to sing on the bus.

He taught me all the words to Man In The Mirror, and he used to goof around acting it and Smooth Criminal out - doing funny voices, dramatic faces, and extremely amusing break dance attempts.

And despite the fact that my childhood is dotted with numerous Jackson related memories – my dad trying to sing Bad and failing miserably (and amusingly), watching thriller for the first time (how awesome was that video?), trying to moonwalk “just like MJ”… Those two songs are still my favorites.

Even if the last decade of MJs life has seemed to consist of one sad scandal after another, there’s no way any one can deny, there will probably never be another artiste and performer quite like Michael Jackson.

More Heir Then Wit

So… I was surfing through the web yesterday in a fairly jobless fashion (despite the fact that it was a Tuesday and I was actually kinda swamped), and I came across this:

The Hermes Bicycle

Bicycle in lacquered stainless steel.

Frame, handles and saddle in Taurillon Clemence leather.

Kickstand, front and back lighting, carrier with bungy cord, mud flap and spoke protector.

$4,000.00

Can someone please explain to me why anyone would buy this???

Firstly, if you convert it, that’s about 1,88,000 INR (and to save myself the trouble, lets assume that all future prices that I dont mention in USD or GPB are INR)… let me just say OUCH!

Even thinking about it makes my wallet hurt.

Who spends almost 2 lakhs on a bicycle!!! And what’s worse… it’s covered in leather! How totally impractical is that? What if it starts to rain?

This is NOT what I would call a sensible use of money.

I guess you really know you have way more money then you know what to do with (or a complete disregard for Daddy's Dollars) when you start buying things like that.

(Oh! Check out the Hermes baby stuff while your there… now I know that most new parents can be made to buy practically anything for darling baby, but seriously! Who buys a US$930 plush horse? That’s almost 44 thousand rupees!)

So then I started to wonder, what are the really daft things out there that no one but a really filthy rich, and possibly slightly brain damaged person, would be suckered into buying?

And here are a couple of things I found.

You may have heard of a few of them before, but they were just too noteworthy not to mention.

Bling H20

(Water for the super rich and vapid)

"Comes in Limited Edition, corked, 750ml, reusable frosted glass bottles, exquisitely handcrafted with Swarovski Crystals."
Cost? US$40 a bottle. For WATER!

Weirdly enough reading the site taught me something new... who knew there were awards for water?

Oh, also, its not water for everyone... apparently "just those that Bling."



Miniature Home Chocolate Fountain
(Figured I ought to put in at least one thing which I would totally buy if I had the cash)

The Miniature Chocolate & Fondue Fountain is the ultimate accessory for every fondue lover and home entertainer.
The elegance and fun of the larger chocolate fountains can now be yours with a personal chocolate fountain of your own!

Depending on size and capacity, these cost between US$86 - 196.

Because what could possibly be more elegant then a chocolate fountain?


Charlotte Thomas Bespoke
(Sheets I would be to terrified to fall asleep on)

The most expensive bed sheets in the world - handmade, using the finest merino wool backed with hand-loom silk and thousand-count Egyptian cotton sheets, and threaded with 22 carat gold.

I imagine sleeping on them would feel awesome, they're reputed to be the finest bedding in the world.

How much do they cost?
Well, I'm guessing the Britt sense of propriety stepped in here, because the site doesn't say.
And its also probably a sliding scale, since the sheets are made to each buyers specifications.
But each individual pillowcase is about GBP1,200, so one can only imagine.
(For the curious, that's 92,400 bucks per pillowcase).


and lastly... just coz I find it hilarious that they're just pretty flip-flops (which you could probably find for about a 100 bucks here - and probably less in fact).


Limited Edition Havaianas
(They actually cost more then the chocolate fountain!)

The Limited Edition Slim Crystel Mesh Havaianas - your avarage "bathroom chappals" with a bit of bling.

And yeah, they're probably Swarovski Crystals, but it doesn't actually say that on the product page, so who says they aren't just glass?

I sure as heck wouldn't spend over 9K (US$198) on these, but that's what they cost!

But then, even the regular run of the mill Havaianas cost about 846 bucks at the very least!

And now I'm feeling exceedingly poor and totally weirded out by the things people will spend money on.

So I guess I'll go eat lunch, and leave you with this.

Reason Why YouTube is Awesome

1) Because I would never have even heard of these guys without it.

(sadly I couldn't put up the official video for this, since they took of the embed option... but you should go check it out... freaky awesome)

somebody please explain to me how its possible to do this stuff!

2) Because watching this is totally embarrassing and hilarious… what were we thinking!!

Augh... the boyband age! I can't believe some of these guys are trying to make a comeback [and let me just say... New Kids On The Block is really really the wrong name when you're all OLD]

Other epic-ly bad cartoons from when I was young - Gem, Ghostbusters (seriously, go watch one now, you'll see what I mean) He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, CareBears, My Little Pony... can't think of any more [Thundercats and TMNT are still totally cool].

3) And because this is the kind of thing that people post

hahaha! I love how nonchalant that kanga is... hoppity-hoppity-BAM!

ouch...wonder how long it took him to find all his teeth...