R.I.P MJ

The first Michael Jackson song I ever truly loved was Man In The Mirror, with Smooth Criminal as a close second.

Seem like a strange combination? Not really.

I know exactly why it’s those two, and the reason has everything to do with one of my favorite people when I was 6 years old.

At the age of 6, the bus ride back from school was always horribly long – I think it took about an hour from school to our bus-stop. I was invariably exhausted, cranky and hungry by that point.

At 6 even 10 minutes in a bus when you get sort of motion sick is pretty horrible. And with school buses, somehow the trip back home always seems longer then the trip to school.

Anyway, what does this have to do with The King of Pop?

Well, as I said, it’s all because of AJ. AJ was the one who made bus rides bearable. Although when I do the math now I realize he was only about 16 or 17, at 6 he seemed all grown up.

And I had a major case of hero worship.

He was the coolest guy I knew. He would read to my class at nap time (“Marvin K Mooney, Will You PLEASE Go Now?”), he was never too busy to answer silly questions and he always took care of me on the bus.

So although I’m pretty sure the first MJ song I ever heard was way before school (since my dad still has his MJ LPs and some of them are older then me) - the first of his songs I ever loved, was the ones AJ used to sing on the bus.

He taught me all the words to Man In The Mirror, and he used to goof around acting it and Smooth Criminal out - doing funny voices, dramatic faces, and extremely amusing break dance attempts.

And despite the fact that my childhood is dotted with numerous Jackson related memories – my dad trying to sing Bad and failing miserably (and amusingly), watching thriller for the first time (how awesome was that video?), trying to moonwalk “just like MJ”… Those two songs are still my favorites.

Even if the last decade of MJs life has seemed to consist of one sad scandal after another, there’s no way any one can deny, there will probably never be another artiste and performer quite like Michael Jackson.

More Heir Then Wit

So… I was surfing through the web yesterday in a fairly jobless fashion (despite the fact that it was a Tuesday and I was actually kinda swamped), and I came across this:

The Hermes Bicycle

Bicycle in lacquered stainless steel.

Frame, handles and saddle in Taurillon Clemence leather.

Kickstand, front and back lighting, carrier with bungy cord, mud flap and spoke protector.

$4,000.00

Can someone please explain to me why anyone would buy this???

Firstly, if you convert it, that’s about 1,88,000 INR (and to save myself the trouble, lets assume that all future prices that I dont mention in USD or GPB are INR)… let me just say OUCH!

Even thinking about it makes my wallet hurt.

Who spends almost 2 lakhs on a bicycle!!! And what’s worse… it’s covered in leather! How totally impractical is that? What if it starts to rain?

This is NOT what I would call a sensible use of money.

I guess you really know you have way more money then you know what to do with (or a complete disregard for Daddy's Dollars) when you start buying things like that.

(Oh! Check out the Hermes baby stuff while your there… now I know that most new parents can be made to buy practically anything for darling baby, but seriously! Who buys a US$930 plush horse? That’s almost 44 thousand rupees!)

So then I started to wonder, what are the really daft things out there that no one but a really filthy rich, and possibly slightly brain damaged person, would be suckered into buying?

And here are a couple of things I found.

You may have heard of a few of them before, but they were just too noteworthy not to mention.

Bling H20

(Water for the super rich and vapid)

"Comes in Limited Edition, corked, 750ml, reusable frosted glass bottles, exquisitely handcrafted with Swarovski Crystals."
Cost? US$40 a bottle. For WATER!

Weirdly enough reading the site taught me something new... who knew there were awards for water?

Oh, also, its not water for everyone... apparently "just those that Bling."



Miniature Home Chocolate Fountain
(Figured I ought to put in at least one thing which I would totally buy if I had the cash)

The Miniature Chocolate & Fondue Fountain is the ultimate accessory for every fondue lover and home entertainer.
The elegance and fun of the larger chocolate fountains can now be yours with a personal chocolate fountain of your own!

Depending on size and capacity, these cost between US$86 - 196.

Because what could possibly be more elegant then a chocolate fountain?


Charlotte Thomas Bespoke
(Sheets I would be to terrified to fall asleep on)

The most expensive bed sheets in the world - handmade, using the finest merino wool backed with hand-loom silk and thousand-count Egyptian cotton sheets, and threaded with 22 carat gold.

I imagine sleeping on them would feel awesome, they're reputed to be the finest bedding in the world.

How much do they cost?
Well, I'm guessing the Britt sense of propriety stepped in here, because the site doesn't say.
And its also probably a sliding scale, since the sheets are made to each buyers specifications.
But each individual pillowcase is about GBP1,200, so one can only imagine.
(For the curious, that's 92,400 bucks per pillowcase).


and lastly... just coz I find it hilarious that they're just pretty flip-flops (which you could probably find for about a 100 bucks here - and probably less in fact).


Limited Edition Havaianas
(They actually cost more then the chocolate fountain!)

The Limited Edition Slim Crystel Mesh Havaianas - your avarage "bathroom chappals" with a bit of bling.

And yeah, they're probably Swarovski Crystals, but it doesn't actually say that on the product page, so who says they aren't just glass?

I sure as heck wouldn't spend over 9K (US$198) on these, but that's what they cost!

But then, even the regular run of the mill Havaianas cost about 846 bucks at the very least!

And now I'm feeling exceedingly poor and totally weirded out by the things people will spend money on.

So I guess I'll go eat lunch, and leave you with this.

Reason Why YouTube is Awesome

1) Because I would never have even heard of these guys without it.

(sadly I couldn't put up the official video for this, since they took of the embed option... but you should go check it out... freaky awesome)

somebody please explain to me how its possible to do this stuff!

2) Because watching this is totally embarrassing and hilarious… what were we thinking!!

Augh... the boyband age! I can't believe some of these guys are trying to make a comeback [and let me just say... New Kids On The Block is really really the wrong name when you're all OLD]

Other epic-ly bad cartoons from when I was young - Gem, Ghostbusters (seriously, go watch one now, you'll see what I mean) He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, CareBears, My Little Pony... can't think of any more [Thundercats and TMNT are still totally cool].

3) And because this is the kind of thing that people post

hahaha! I love how nonchalant that kanga is... hoppity-hoppity-BAM!

ouch...wonder how long it took him to find all his teeth...

Enjoy The Ride

Does anyone else still listen to Morcheeba?
Well this song is stuck in my head... the video is a little strange, but the song is awesome.
so don't get put off!

Desi

(Warning: This is kind of a serious post… and it’s pretty long too)

Recently I’ve really begun to wonder what exactly it means to be Indian.

Am I less Indian because I wear jeans? Because I don’t speak any of our languages with fluency? Is it a matter of birth? Or love for the country? Belief system? Religion?

What exactly is it that makes someone Desi?

What started me off on this train of thought was watching Bachna Ae Haseeno last Sunday.

Now I admit, I’ve always been sort of prejudiced towards Hindi movies in general, mostly because I kind of buy into the whole idea that they’re all dumb and filled with couples running in slow motion towards each other or around trees.

And yes, I do know that although that may have been true to a certain extent when I was a kid, it’s hardly the fact any longer. There are plenty of movies like that still made, but there are also lots which actually have some worth to them or are at least fun to watch.

Although it still kind of bugs me that everyone in the whole world seems to believe that Bollywood films are the sum of Indian filmmaking, completely disregarding all the other powerful Indian films that have ever been made.

But another problem for me as far as Indian movies as a whole go, is that the only language I’m fluent and comfortable in is English. And it’s a bit hard to enjoy a movie if you can’t follow the dialogue.

Ok, maybe that’s not strictly true… I had no problem watching 2 Days in Paris without subtitles, and half that movie is in French!

But I guess with Hindi movies I follow enough of the dialogue that when I can’t follow something it really throws me. And then the flow is gone and the entire experience sort of goes down the toilet.

And it’s actually somehow a little more annoying when you know that what they’re saying is probably totally pointless!

Since I watched Bachna Ae Haseeno on DVD, we had the subtitles on, and actually, from a purely fluff point of view, it was kind of fun.

There were waaaaaaay too many songs (and buggingly enough, I’ve had this one stuck in my head since watching the movie).

But other then that, a lot of the scripting was pretty smart, and the humor was quite witty.

So that made me wonder, “Am I out of touch with the things that are Indian these days? And have I ever actually been in touch with them?”

When we were kids, my sis and I never actually watched any of the Indian TV shows, or at least, I don’t remember doing so. And the only reason I’ve watched any of the movies that are considered to be Indian Film Classics (Like Kabuliwalla or the Appu Trilogy) is because we were made to watch them in school.

We were brought up on a steady diet of western literature and cultural milestones, and I never actually regretted the lack of Indian influence till I started working.

Luckily my grandmoms and school managed to plant a certain amount of Indian culture and history into my head. Enough that I’ve read the Mahabharata and the Ramayana a few times, and have a fairly decent grasp of Who Came First from the Aryans to the Brits.

But does that make me Desi?

I can cook a Full Indian Meal, and if Bend it Like Beckham is to be believed, the rest should be up to God.

But I’m not in the least bit religious! In fact, although I have a firm and unshakable belief that God certainly does exist - how else do you explain the everyday miracle of life? (And if you say science I’m just going to say “and how do you explain that existing then?” so don’t argue ok?) I’m completely and totally anti-religion. In fact, I kind of believe that if the devil did exist, religion is probably exactly the kind of thing he would come up with – after all it’s been behind some of the worst problems our world has seen!

But that is an argument for another post.

So Desi… what exactly does it mean? If our politicians are to be believed, then accepting other cultures and adopting other traditions makes us less Indian.

But what I want to know is, if we hadn’t always been such an open country, if we hadn’t been willing to accept other people, learn from them, take their knowledge and wisdom and make it our own, would we be the country we are now?

No… I really don’t think we would be.

Firstly, what is Indian? How far back do you need to go before you get to the pure Indian roots? One of the best and strongest things about our country is that it’s a total melting pot.

From the Taj Mahal to the temples at Thanjavur, from Appams to Sarson Ka Saag, our country represents everyone! So really, I’m not sure that there is any one thing that’s Indian.