exam fever... :(

sigh.
monday did not go well. it was the first paper. Media Project and Editing. 3hrs. Not enough time... altho i did manage to finish, which is more then i managed last sem. I HATE EXAMS! i NEVER do well... there have of course been exceptions. but that is pretty much the rule. i just don't write fast enough. and i forget words and all that shit. the editing part wasn't too bad... but the media project thing! damn, it almost makes me swear! in fact i did. firstly we had absolutely NO idea what we were supposed to study! it had no focus! they could ask us a question about any tiny trivial detail that we have learnt in the last two years! and they did. i don't know wtf i wrote. probably some absolute crap. It was SO not fun. when i got my first look at that paper i nearly had a coronary... heheh... ok, that is definitely a slight exaggeration. but i did think WHAT in HELL! some of those questions were sooo bizarre! oh well. that's done.
but i do not imagine that tmrws paper is going to be any picnic either. in fact i pretty much expect it to be WORSE! :( i am not a happy camper...
tmrws paper in on CLW (that's Camera and Lighting Workshop) and Film Studies. both are horrid. not as subjects.... where they are actually really cool and fun to study. but that’s the practical side. for our exam we have to study reams and reams of info! it's so daft! why put two subjects that involve soo much work in the same paper!? and then they expect us to be able to answer it in that measly 3 hours! trying to write that fast always makes my hand cramp. I'm going to b in major pain by the end of it all...
I'm looking over my film noir notes now. and that's more then 30 pgs and there's no assurance that we'll even get questions about that topic. what's more, that still leaves all the other waves, noirs and genres that i haven't covered in great detail. and u know, we don't even do this stuff in class. we just sort of do an informal discussion after watching a whole bunch of films... i did ok last year on our film studies section. but our last year proff for the subject (who corrected the exam - which is how it works) thought i was good already. he liked me. he knew that i worked hard. I'm not saying that he was partial or anything - coz obviously he wasn't. i did only get an M... but anyway. this years proff? yeah, he HATES me!! seriously. he is not a nice guy... he actually wrote this:

Remarks on Class Participation:
You don't allow for dialogue when interacting. Far too opinionated, and this gets in the way of you listening, and prevents you from being insightful, and more open to ideas. You are prejudiced to the point of being obnoxious.

seriously. that is WORD for WORD what he wrote. and on my ASSIGNMENT! how unprofessional is that!? and when he was called on it - by our class teacher, he justified his behaviour by claiming he was doing me a favour. and that no other teacher in any college would have accepted my behaviour.
let me just say, i have NEVER, not once in all my years of education ( and I'm 21 now and started school at the age of 4!) had this sort of a problem with any of my teachers! in fact they usually really like me! I've even been accused of being a teachers pet!!!! ok, i know I'm arrogant and definitely i have very strong opinions which I am, possibly, a lil too over willing to share... but please! his comment was still just a lil strong. difinitely hurt my feelings at the time...
want to know what i think brought it on tho? well... i didn't agree with him that sitting and watching movies all day, every single day, was the purest form of life. seriously. he thinks that.
We were having a discussion, in class, about a documentary film we had just seen (that followed the life of this bunch of extreme film buffs - who actually do spend there whole lives watching movies) i just said that if u don't experience life except through another person's perception of it - which is basically what all cinema is - then u aren't really living. we were having a discussion for gods sake!!!! but he wouldn't even listen to my reasoning... he just got all mad, and shouted me down like a 3 year old... that's when i found out his opinion... it's not like i was trying to be tactless and offend him! i never even knew his whole 'purest from of life' thing at the time...
sigh.
and now this dumb bastard has my grades in his hand.... not a happy thought. in fact, it's the main source of my worry.
the lighting and camera thing is worrying bcoz there is sooo much to cover. and again, there is no way to know what to focus on. so we just sort of have to study as much as we can. and hope that what gets into our heads will actually get asked in the paper. but at least no real faculty worries here. the proff who's going to correct this is a decent guy. knows his stuff... so fudging is going to be impossible... heh heh. oh well. we can only hope.
think i'm done. all talked out. so time to get back to the grindstone.
bbye... and good luck to me!